One last Hurrah....

2008-2-03T22:28:00-0100

Sorry, guys.....I know I haven't written in a while, but remember what I was saying that you have to be ready and committed when you start something in order for it to succeed? Well, that was sort of what I was going through these last couple of weeks. I felt I needed time to get "mentally prepared" for the things and goals that I am going to ask of myself for the next five months. Hopefully, you will have gathered by now that numero uno on my list is the goal of weight loss. One of the things that I believe is instrumental in the key to weight loss, or any goal for that matter, is having accountability. My family and I have decided to do a home version of the "Biggest Loser". Everyone puts money into a pot, and who ever loses the most weight at the end of a specified time period (in our case roughly 6 months) will win a considerable amount of money.

We weighed in this weekend, and the hardest thing for me was to share my weight with someone I knew. As I waited for my turn to be weighed in, I literally felt this huge wave of anxiety come over me and found it extremely difficult to control my breathing. I felt as if the very air was being pumped out of me and I felt like I was about to be pushed off a cliff. Even though the person who was to record our weight and guard it in secret is someone I feel that I trust, I was still very very embarrassed at the thought of his thoughts as he would write that horrid number down in the secret weight journal. Someone would know how much I weigh.

I am not really sure why, but somehow this was different. I mean, my doctor knows how much I weigh, my Jenny Craig counselors and Weight Watcher leaders knew how much I weighed in the past, but I didn't really trip off of that. But, somehow telling this family member of mine reminded me how much my weight upset me, and how much that particular number embarrassed me. Yes, we must love ourselves for who we are, but there also has to come a time where you come to a realization that you have neglected your body, your health, the very vehicle that physically gives you life and its opportunities in this world. When I looked at number staring up at me from the scale below, this time was different than any time it greeted me before. This time as it glared at me with an eight pound punch stronger than before, I glared right back at it with fire and anger to let him know that he may have won this round but we still got some time to go before the end of the match.

So, my thought for you today is while we rest in the corner and the pretty lady holds up her number sign walking around the ring, get ready. Stay with me, clearly visualize your goal, and together we begin now the journey working, sweating, and waiting for that ultimate moment of glorification when we deliver that knockout punch.

New Beginnings

2008-1-20T23:20:00-0100

Monday,January 21st, 2008

I think it is rather ironic that on this day, this day that is symbolic in American History, also becomes symbolic in the beginning chapters of my new life. Today, I have a dream. My dream is to make those first baby steps towards fulfilling my purpose in life. My dream is to breathe, live, and enjoy life as God has intended it to be. However, to do so I must take a hard look at who I have become, and accept and love myself for who I am now before I can face the challenges ahead of me. I challenge you to do the same. Once you opened your eyes and have taken a good look at yourself, I invite you to then Come Walk with Me.